How do I respond to a young person who’s disclosed watching extreme porn?

Some young people, particularly those who have watched porn over a longer duration, can find themselves seeking more extreme and/or aggressive content in porn.

This can lead to shame or confusion about being drawn to aggressive content, and subsequent withdrawal from relationships, anxiety, depression, and/or decreased empathy due to dissociation.

Frequent consumption of aggressive porn can also in some cases, increase the likelihood of the acceptance of sexual violence towards women and/or aggressive behaviours during real life sex (74). It’s important to respond to any disclosure without judgement. Use sensitive questioning and affirm the young person for disclosing their experience.

Assessment and guidance should be provided to minimise potential harm (to self and others), including building critical thinking around porn, introducing shame-reduction strategies, and offering support for cutting down on porn consumption as needed. Referral to specialist services or other support services may be needed.

Tools to help: Resource 3.4 Support Services and Resource 3.3: Case Studies

“It’s hard to admit you have a problem with porn or to even say that’s its involved in your life. People want out of it so bad but it’s hard to say it to parents or anyone. It’s embarrassing and you feel like you have betrayed yourself.”

Male, 17 years

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