When I speak at schools I ask: ‘In pornos, do you see hugging?’ they all laugh and say ‘nah, nah’. I ask them ‘In pornos, do people ask is that okay, or can I do this? or Is there a kind conversation during sex in pornos?’ ……..and then I see the kids stop and reflect
— Richie Hardcore
When I was a teenager I thought watching porn was harmless. I wish I had known at the time how it would end up affecting me and others in my life…
— Jason, 27 yrs, Tauranga
WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT PORN?
There’s no denying that porn is everywhere … whether you see it over a mate’s shoulder, in a pop up or watch it on your phone, it’s just a click away. But while most young people have seen at least some porn and are usually chilled about it, it’s fair to say most adults feel pretty awkward when it comes to talking about it. So, we decided it was time to start the conversation…
Well – yes and no. Porn’s not new, but online porn is far from what used to be considered ‘normal’ – like old-school R18 mags or erotica videos that you needed ID to buy, then you’d sneak a peek when no one was around. Now you simply turn on a device and within seconds, you and your mates are blasted with a smorgasbord of millions of free, private and full on X-rated pornos. But this is where we run into trouble…. because porn’s everywhere, it’s so easy to think it’s ‘normal’.
Back in the day, when you actually had to talk to people, like face to face, most sex ed was learnt through your ‘village’ – at school, at home or through the kids in your neighbourhood. But nowadays, most young people learn more about sex from porn than anywhere else. So with giant porn companies stepping in and taking over as sex ed teacher, it’s probably time we actually started talking about it and asking some important questions.