I Need Help
If some of the stuff you’ve read has made you feel anxious or worried, you think you might have a problem with porn, or you just want to find out more – here are some simple steps to help you out:
– Nick Willis
1 | Know the siGns
- You feel you have to watch more and more porn to be satisfied
- You feel agitated or stressed when you’re unable to watch porn
- You’ve tried to stop watching porn but haven’t been able to
- You need to watch increasingly violent or extreme porn to get aroused
- You think about porn a lot when you’re not watching it
- You neglect other activities so you can watch porn
Still not sure? Try this self-check: This helpful self-check called the Problematic Porn Consumption Scale (PPCS) offers a guide for measuring how much porn may be affecting your relationships or day-to-day life. It doesn’t work for everyone but is a tool which some people have found useful.
So, what now? If you scored highly on the PPCS self-check, or know deep down this is something you’re struggling with, here are the ABC’s to kick-start your journey towards a healthier and happier sex life…
2 | Make chanGes
(limit your porn access)
One of the easiest, yet hardest, things to do is to restrict your access to porn. It takes a lot of discipline, but it is 100% possible, so here are some tips on how to break the cycle:
Limit your access
The most common time to watch porn is between 10pm and 12pm. So a simple trick you can get in the habit of is to leave your devices in another room – then your bedroom becomes a place of sleeping. More sleep, less porn. Win-win. If you can’t access porn, you won’t see it.
Use a filter
There are heaps of apps out there that help block your access, or plug-ins that work as a filtering device for your modem. One option is SafeSurfer which is fast and free.
Take away the Internet
Ouch. How could you live in a world without the internet! Changing your device to one that has no internet capability may seem a bit extreme, but it’s the fastest way to create change,
Removing access will take a lot of self control, but remember you don’t have to do this alone.
(KNOWING HOW IT TICKS)
It’s super common to watch porn when you feel bored, frustrated, lonely, or stressed. It can become a way to manage negative emotions and be a comfort or stress relief. But continuously watching porn can create problems of it’s own and some young people that watch lots, say it can be a hard habit to break.
If that’s you and you want to cut down, heres some tips to understand what’s going on and work with your brain 😊 …
Think about why, when, and how you use porn. Does it help you cope with stress? boredom? Do you watch it when you’re lonely? Angry? What ‘triggers’ your porn use? Over time your brain learns to ‘crave’ porn when you feel those things, like craving certain food when you’re hungry.
Make a note of your ‘triggers’ – write them down.
Change things up
Start creating some new habits that make you feel good – go for a run, grab some food, call a mate, look at some memes, watch Netflix… and see what happens.
When you’re struggling with porn, it can feel really difficult to talk to someone, but talking to a mate or an adult you trust is super important. It’s okay to struggle – but its not okay to struggle alone. If you don’t know who to turn to, a good place to start could be school counsellors, family members, youth workers or Youthline. Just start the convo it could be the best step you can take.
Remember changing up any habit is a process – and it doesn’t happen straight away. Theres a lot of new research on ‘micro-steps’; how making lots of tiny steps, one day at a time, can create massive change. So taking one step at a time, like going for a run or calling a mate when you feel stressed and want to jump into some porn, is the start of your success journey 😊 …
3 | Get Support
Talking to or texting a real person is an important step towards kicking any habit.
TALK TO A FRIEND
Talking to or texting a real person is an important step towards kicking the habit.
FIND A RESOURCE
Our Resources section has links to some helpful video clips, books and websites.