Youth and Porn Resource Kit
3. Responding
3.4 Problematic Porn Usage
How do we help a young person wanting to cut down their porn usage?
Young people may present in various settings wanting support with cutting down on porn.
In these cases, an initial assessment is always useful to determine degree of harm, impact on day-to-day life, drivers for wanting to reduce usage, and what support pathways and tools may be needed. This also provides time and space for a young person to consider how their porn usage has developed and reflect on its impact on them. If undertaken in a therapeutic way, a caring and collaborative assessment and consultation can lead to positive change.
Tips for Cutting down porn
Following an assessment, these tips can be explored collectively with a young person, who can identify which tips might work best for them.
Triggers
Identify any experiences or environments that are associated with porn use and explore alternative responses. For example: “When do you find yourself watching porn (bored, sad, lonely, stressed)?” “What are other ways you can deal with these triggers, such as spending time with friends, watching Netflix, listening to music, playing sport etc …?”
Tools
Use tools such as a decisional balance sheet (evaluating the pros and cons of stopping or continuing with porn) to help the young person think objectively about the impacts of their porn usage and motivate change.
Goals
Support the young person to decide on a SMART goal (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Timely) related to their porn use. Brainstorm strategies to help achieve the goal, develop a plan with them, and build confidence around achieving the goal.
Cultural Considerations

Take time to listen and understand (as appropriate) what is culturally important to a young person, and how this could help shape, support and strengthen their efforts to cut down on porn. For example, some young may benefit from the support and involvement of whānau members. See Resource 2.3: Cultural Safety.

Strengths
Identify ways the young person has given up unwanted habits before (e.g., goal setting, personal rewards, etc.), and help them to apply these strategies to their porn use.
Social support

Identify friends, family or other safe adults who can help offer social support. This can include youth workers, peer support workers (MH/AOD), or other safe adults at community, faith-based or sports clubs.

HERE are tips to help a young person start this conversation

HERE are tools for a support person to better understand how they can help.

Practise getting support
Discuss the likely responses of raising porn as a topic amongst supportive peers and adults (because shame and fear are often barriers to seeking support). Model and help the young person practise tricky conversations so that they feel prepared and are less anxious.
Ethics lens

Young people may find the growing ethical concerns around porn interesting and more personally motivating than an individualistic harm-based lens.

Online tools, Apps and information
Explore self-directed online tools, such as In The Know, or specific apps that help with cutting down porn. The Apps offer tools such as filters, online forums, device management, tracking functions, support groups, journaling and mindfulness activities. Each App is different, and a young person should explore which one suits them best.

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“I’m trying to quit porn due to porn addiction. However, I always relapse due to curiosity or stress”

Male, 16 yrs