Youth and Porn Resource KitCase Study 9.
Millie: ‘Porn impacting sexual relationships’
Millie (22 yrs, non-binary, they/them) discloses they have been using porn for several years to explore their sexuality and manage stress. But they are wondering if it’s now interfering with their sex life, as they are struggling to get aroused in real life relationships and prefer porn to real-life sex.
1: Validate and normalise
Normalise Millie’s experience – watching content that includes sexual and gender diversity is part of some young people’s exploration, but long-term use can impact some young people’s sexual experiences, satisfaction, and relationships.
2: Assess
Assess harm through asking further questions:
- In what ways do you think porn may be impacting your sexual relationships? (e.g., needing porn to get aroused and/or climax).
- Tell me about your porn habits (e.g., duration and frequency of usage)?*
- For how long have you found you prefer porn to real-life sex?
*Note: Questions relating to usage patterns may be helpful, though frequency of porn usage is not always correlated to problematic usage and/or a young person’s distress. Assessing the real-life impacts on a young person, and their drivers for wanting to cut down, can be more helpful with pointing to the types of support needed.
3: Build critical thinking and porn literacy
Frequent porn usage can lead to sexual dysfunctions, such as relying on porn to become and remain aroused, preference for porn over real-life partners, and decreased sexual satisfaction.
Questions can include:
- How does watching porn feel for you in terms of your body, sexuality, and gender identity?
- What does a healthy sex life look like for you?
- What role (if any) would you like porn to play in that?
- What do you need and what steps do you think could help you reach this?
Discuss options, such as cutting down on porn or taking a break from porn to re-establish healthy sexual functioning with solo or partnered sex.
4: Support and refer
If initially cutting down on porn usage is Mille’s preference, refer them to appropriate self-led apps and services, such as In the Know, or online Apps. If Millie indicates their usage is more problematic, referral to a sex therapist may be beneficial. For connections to other Rainbow young people, find a local support group Here.
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