Rough Sex
‘Rough sex’ is the term used to refer to a range of sexual acts commonly seen in porn, such as choking, spanking, biting, hitting, name-calling, role-playing, forced sex, aggressive oral sex, gagging, and slapping.
- Rough sex can mean different things to different people – and young people may use the term to describe anything from consensual playful sexual acts, right through to sexual assault.
- A recent US study amongst undergraduate students indicated nearly 80% had participated in rough-sex behaviours (53).
- Feedback from young people in Aotearoa suggests rough sex is becoming increasingly normalised amongst some youth.
- Rough sex in porn is generally depicted without any explicit care or consent, and the aggressive acts are mostly performed by males.
As rough sex behaviours become more normalised amongst young people, it is important for health professionals to integrate an understanding of rough sex into their sexual-health assessments.
For More Info on rough sex and choking, click here.
Choking
Choking (non-fatal strangulation) during sex is seen in porn and wider mainstream media, and it is becoming increasingly normalised within youth sexual culture in Aotearoa.
- Young people may use other terms to describe choking, such as breath play, being choked out, blood choking, air play, and neck holding.
- A recent US study amongst undergraduate students indicated 64% of the young women, 29% of the young men, and 55% of the Rainbow students had been choked during sex (53).
- The reasons young people try choking vary, but they can include partner expectations or pressure, being sexually adventurous, risk-taking, perceived pleasure, release of endorphins (‘rush’), power dynamics, and general curiosity.
Research in Aotearoa on the portrayal of choking across mainstream internet articles, indicates choking is described in positive terms, providing problematic messages to young people about the risks (55).
Young people describe complexities around consent and choking. Some report disturbing experiences of being choked unexpectedly without consent, and others report consenting to choking, but feeling frightened and unable to physically withdraw consent.
Young people can experience physical and psychological symptoms after being choked and may benefit from a referral to a GP, a sexual health clinic, or a specialist clinician familiar with non-fatal strangulation, such as SAATS.

“I’ve tried a lot of different things sexually that I’ve seen in porn and whatnot. And when I was first introduced to sex, the guy instantly went on to the dominating stuff, and I was definitely not ready for that… Just the whole domination and choking. That wasn’t around in the same way before porn. And it’s a little bit scary.”